The earth has travelled around the sun and I have stayed sober. Incredible.
Tears of joy have been flowing since I woke this morning.
I had the most beautiful day and spoke with sober friends around the world. I was honoured to receive loving messages, cards, flowers and tokens of congratulations. I have the best friends. I took myself out for breakfast (I had a bretzel – which is a cross between a baguette and a pretzel). I’ve been telling people about it all day. Then did some shopping and bought myself a delicious liquorice and lemongrass cordial to mix with soda for my celebratory drink tonight.
In this last week, I’ve been pondering the fact that at the beginning of this journey, I believed I would be my hero at day 30, then at day 100 and then ultimately at day 365.
I had been feeling a little despondent about the fact that I expected so much more would be different by now. Mostly that I thought I would have shifted the excess weight.
A couple of days ago when I was driving home this speech by Mathew McConaughey came rushing into my mind and completely shifted my perspective.
I asked myself ‘who is my hero?’
Tears filled my eyes when I realised my hero is me. It’s me in the future.
On day 0, my ultimate hero was me at 365 days. It seemed utterly impossible at that point. It was a dream within a dream.
If you ask me today if I am now my hero, like Mathew Mcconaughey, I would say ‘not even close’. But to the girl on day 0, I am. If she travelled through dimensions in time and she found me here at 365 days sober, I know she would see this incredibly rare precious being. She would hold me so tight and I’d have to wait for her to let go first. We would look at each other and cry. She would be in awe of me. She would love to have just a minute with me. She would be filled with endless questions.
I would gaze into her and whisper ‘believe’…believe like you’ve never believed before. Then, I would have to lovingly step back and allow her to find her own way, as I know that is the only way.
So today, at 365 days sober ‘who is my hero?’
It’s me…when I’m 2 years sober.
Thanks for reading.